Sunday, May 29, 2011

Why, Oh Why

1. In an attempt to find a yoga class close to home I tried Bikram (set series of 26 yoga poses, including two breathing exercises, each of which is performed twice in a single 90 minute class, in a hot as hell room, filled with Serious.Yoga. People.). The woman in front of me closed her eyes and sorta swayed and danced the whole time, skipping over half of the poses, which irritated the instructor to no end because “you should not  skip a pose….it is very dangerous…..there is an order to the poses for a reason!” The instructor was pretty much spun up the entire class, between She who was not doing the poses at all, and an older indian woman who was attending her third class and kept trying the hardest variation of all the poses, "nonononono, you're going to injure yourself. Stop doing that! Stop. Here do this. Don't look at that woman over there! She's advanced. Don't look!!!!" Pretty sure yoga instructors are not supposed to sound that frantic and irritated but hey, I'm new to this sport, what do I know.

Anywhoo. Besides that fact that the woman reeked of pot (did I mention that the room is heated?), her back was covered with red rings from cupping:  Cupping - A treatment in which evacuated glass cups are applied to intact or scarified skin in order to draw blood toward or through the surface. It was used for disorders associated with an excess of blood, one of the four humors of medieval physiology. Basically modern day leeching. Ew. 

At first, the woman was so distracting I found it irritating, but then I went with it. I decided she was a gift from the yoga universe to me, because I found class boring and very, very SERIOUS, and yet there she was swaying and ignoring the instructor, who's head was about to explode and the whole thing was surreal and very, very funny, in a this can't possibly be happening sort of way.

2. Yesterday morning during swimming there was an older blond Germanic looking woman in the lane next to me. She was approximately 68 years old, wearing a one piece swim suit with yellow/white/blue color blocks which was…well…completely see through. I don’t mean the material was a little thin. Oh no. The material was sheer at best, actually more translucent than sheer. She did the back stroke nearly the entire time. I kid you not.  The only saving grace was that the bottom of the suit was navy. Again, I kept thinking, this cannot be possible. It just can't. And she'd go s l o w l y down the land in her see through suit and I'd laugh hysterically inside.

3. Phew. Now, for something fun. Check this out:

It's a sun umbrella that tells you time and direction. You orient yourself North with the compass (included):

and then look at where the sun shines on the umbrella. The vertical lines and numbers indicate hours; horizontal lines are the summer solstice, the spring/autumnal equinox and winter solstice from the top to bottom. In  the photo it is around 4, during the summer solstice. It's made by zung.
I don't think you can buy it here yet but dang, I LOVE that thing. Perfect for a sunny California day. 

Is there anything out there making you wonder why? Any strangely weird situations that make you want to laugh hysterically? Maybe that's just me. Would you be seen on the street with the parasol? 


    1. Holy Cow... this post was hilarious! Aren't people sooo funny :) classic!

    2. That's a cool umbrella and I'm so thankful you didn't take a photo of her! LOL!!!!

    3. Thanks for visiting my blog! WOW! Your yoga and swimming experiences this week were less than ideal!!

      I have done Bikram and totally feel you. I do like the class, because of the sweating--I feel like a get a workout. Have a great week!!!

    4. Thanks for all the comments. And Tri-Living, I did consider that if I'd had a photo all you would see would be these nipples bobbing along in the white caps. HYSTERICAL.