Eventually

Wednesday I met with my physical therapist, and agreed to stop running for a month, possibly more, while I work on fixing some imbalances that are causing me chronic pain and mental anguish while running.  Or trying to run. 

Saturday I headed out to Oakland to run a trail half marathon, which of course I ended up mostly walking. Sigh. 

Here’s the thing: mentally I LOVE trail running. Check out the views:

Can't you imagine Hansel and Gretel here?

It feels amazing to be out amongst all that nature for hours on end.  I love how strong my legs feel when I’m done, the next day soreness, and the opportunity to eat a Fat Guys burger without guilt.

The sweat and the glamorous race photos make me super happy too :

In case you were wondering what I look like coming across the finish line. I swear I am smiling. Please don't comment on my muffin top. I'm working on it.

I love the fields of green dotted with tiny blue flowers:

Even with all that walking I manage to sweat enough to fog my glasses.
You're jealous, I'm sure.

Here’s what gives me pause: I no longer run much at all, the pain in my calves is simple too great. Even after I have a good long walking/running warm up, I can only run downhill and gentle rolling terrain. Once the terrain is flat or mostly up, I have to walk.

This time out I was especially sensitive to how much I wanted to run versus how much I was able to run.  Several times I pushed myself to run up inclines to see how my cardiovascular system has developed. Each time I was pleased to find I’ve really improved on rolling hills, I can run up inclines that would have had me gasping for breath this time last year. Each time I had to grit my teeth to overcome the building pain in my calves and each time I had to eventually stop and pause because the pain was too much. It used to be that my legs felt ok, I simply was unable to get enough air to my thumping heart. Now the heart is ok, and my legs are screaming in pain. 

What the heck is a swamp brigade? Do tell. I still love the motto.

I have not taken this downward slide passively. In January I started taking Pilates twice a week to help my core strength and flexibility. A month ago I started swimming to give my legs a break and help my ankle flexibility.

I’ve seen two different physical therapists. The first one broke up the tissue in my ankles and calves, leaving me literally bruised. I saw him two or three times a week for this treatment and he was in fact able to cure me for small pockets of time. It was clear to me though, that while he was helping to fix the symptoms, whatever was causing my pain was not going away.  I switched therapists. The new guy tested my functional range of motion and found that I lack of sorts of things: hip stability, flexibility, ankle strength, the list goes on and on.  He was not surprised that I’ve been having problems and put together some exercises for me.  He also recommended yoga, as my balance sucks and is another piece of my puzzle. 

So. Time to regroup and try to cure what ails me.

I continue to swim twice a week. Last week I found a Power Yoga class that I love; we work hard, sweat a lot and laugh in this class. Plus, no new age spiritual lectures, which tend to make me throw up in my mouth a little. Last time I took regular yoga she nattered on: "when life is challenging, as it will be. As it should....soften...absorb the edges...relax into the pain."  I wanted to interject "sometimes you just have to suck it up. Life's hard. It'll get better. Eventually. Until then, get over yourself."

And that is exactly what  am trying to do now; suck it up and get over myself.